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Who I Am
Name:  Christopher Westfall
Nick:  Toaph (rhymes with "loaf")
Height:  5'10" (1.8m)
Weight:  155 (69kg)
Hair:  dark brown, curly
Eyes:  blue
Handed:  left
Blood:  B+
Birth:  the cusp of Cancer and Leo
Age:  If you can't tell
 then I'm not saying
What I'm Doing With This Website

This site is a hypertext, multi-media autobiography. Autobiographies are by their nature self-involved, and this site is no exception. It contains autobiographical essays and self-portraiture in a point-and-click layout I designed and coded myself.

I started the site in 1996, and since then it's grown and expanded in concert with my own life and life experiences. Similarly, my self-portraiture has served to document my body and my appearance as I've aged in that time.

It remains a work in progress. Many essays are incomplete. Some pages are just placeholders. In fact the site as a whole will never be a completed work. As long as I continue to walk this earth and continue to produce work, I will continue to use this assemblage of media as a mouthpiece for my written word, and a showcase for my audio/visual productions.

Obstinately persevering in manifest grave sin
...and loving it.

Getting To Know Me


Label Me - Itemizing my core identity

The Toaph Manifesto - Life Philosophy; Views on Politics and Religion

What's Wrong With Me - Everybody's got a disorder. These are mine

Condensed Chronologies

So Far - A chronological overview of my life

Breathe, Reprise - Homes I've lived in

My Auto-Biogroaphy - Cars I've owned

Damn Straight - My sexuality and romantic history

One Is Too Many - My experiences with drug & alcohol abuse and recovery

So Far Since - An overview of how my life has changed since this website went online

Same-Time-Next-Year Photos

Halloween Costumes

Gingerbread Houses

Folsom Street Fair Looks

The Journey to Exhibitionism

Who's That Naked Guy? - Surviving The Quintessential Fraternity Prank

Indecent Exposure - What happened when I modeled nude for an art class

Mirror, Mirror, on the Web - Net exhibitionism and the nature of vanity

"You only live once. But if you do it right, once is enough."

- Mae West

Toaph's Big Adventure: Book I - Ramping Up

Decent Exposure: The Long Strange Trip Begins
Boston, September 1995

Wig Out
New York City, September 1996

Bird Song: A tale of love and loss
My own back yard, October 1996 - June 1997

MIX Film Festival ("Pard' Me")
New York City, November 1997

Montréal, June 1998

Bird Song Epilog: Letting go takes time
Home, December 1997 & Summer 1998

ToaphStock: The pinnacle in a series of love generation festivals
Home, June 1998

MIX Film Festival ("G*I*J*O", "Network News 2000")
New York City, November 1998

A Life-altering Experience
San Francisco, April 1999

Toronto Gay/Lesbian Film Festival ("G*I*J*O")
Toronto, May 1999

San Francisco, May 1999

Speed 2
Montréal, June 1999

As Decadent As I Dared
New Orleans, August 1999

Three On A Match
San Francisco, October 1999

Exiled From Sanctuary: Caught having gay sex in my fraternity house
Potsdam NY, October 1999

MIX Film Festival ("VoyEx", "Come")
New York City, November 1999

Night Charm: Taking a stab at professional porn modeling
Seattle, May 2000

Inside Pride: A new friend and an elaborate, on-location video shoot
New York City, June 2000

20th High School Reunion
Watertown NY, July 2000

Folsom Street Fair (Leather jock and latex sleeveless)
San Francisco, September 2000

MIX Film Festival ("Gay Marriage" "Skin Shot")
New York City, November 2000

Toaph's Big Adventure: Book II - The Bumpy Ride

Meet Me Under The Joshua Tree: Prologue (Inn Exile)
Palm Springs California, February 2001

Lost Pride: The weekend that wasn't
Home, June 2001

Narrow Escape: NYIIFVF
NYC, September 2001

Folsom Street Fair (Road warrior henchman)
San Francisco, September 2001

MIX Film Festival ("Pee Wee's Sodomy House")
New York City, November 2001

Holiday Cabaret with Tigger
New York City, December 2001

A Week at Lighthouse Court
Key West, January 2002

A Work Conference and a Nightmare Weekend
Las Vegas, March 2002

London Gay/Lesbian Film Festival ("Pee Wee's Sodomy House")
DC > London, April 2002

Unfound Pride: A sickly weekend
New York City, June 2002

Amhearst Mass, August 2002

MIX Film Festival ("Eating Pussy")
New York City, November 2002

Mick Rock Art Opening
New York City, November 2002

Birdsong Revisited
Chicago, December 2002

International Mr. Leather
Chicago, May 2003

Citroën Rendez-vous (ID19)
Saratoga Springs, June 2003

Meet Me Under The Joshua Tree: Chapter 1 (The Yellow Brick Road)
San Francisco (Giant underwear) > Palm Springs > San Francisco, September 2003

MIX Film Festival ("Malfunction Blvd")
New York City, November 2003

Meet Me Under The Joshua Tree: Chapter 2 (Enter the Flying Monkeys)
Palm Springs, December 2003 - January 2004

Return to Lighthouse Court
Key West, February 2004

Work Conference and an Old Connection
Atlanta, March 2004

Meet Me Under The Joshua Tree: Chapter 3 (The Emerald City)
Acapulco > Palm Springs, April 2004

Citroën Rendez-vous (Oldsmobile)
Saratoga Springs, June 2004

Meet Me Under the Joshua Tree: Chapter 4 (The Calm Before)
Provincetown, September 2004

Meet Me Under The Joshua Tree: Chapter 5 (75 Days in the Abyss)
Palm Springs and beyond, September - December 2004

Meet Me Under The Joshua Tree: Epilogue (The Long Drive Home)
Palm Springs to Ithaca and all points between, March 2005 - present

Toaph's Big Adventure: Book III - Peak Earning Years

Citroën Rendez-vous (Z3 w/A)
Saratoga Springs, June 2005

Self-Exposure Book Signing
New York City, September 2005

Folsom Street Fair (poop-out)
September 2005

Scuba Abortion
Fort Lauderdale, December 2005

Beyond Joshua Tree: Seeds Sprout From Manure
Fort Lauderdale, January 2006

French Kiss: My rebound relationship (ooh la la!)
Home, Winter 2006

Summer Break (D&J, meet Andre)
Fort Lauderdale, June 2006

Citroën Rendez-vous (Z3)
Saratoga Springs, June 2006

Northeast Roadster Trip
New York City > Washington DC, October 2006

Xmas Get-away
Key West, December 2006

Scuba Consolation
Orlando, February 2007

Spring Break (D&J, see Andre, meet G&W)
Fort Lauderdale, April 2007

Folsom Street Fair (JM1)(Leather jock w/ tail and harness top)
San Francisco, September 2007

MIX Film Festival ("Narcissus' Kaleidoscope")
New York City, November 2007

Fall Break (D&J)
Fort Lauderdale, November 2007

Winter Break (G&W)
Fort Lauderdale, February 2008

Funeral For A Friend
Washington DC, March 2008

Citroën Rendez-vous (Fuego)
Saratoga Springs, June 2008

Folsom Street Fair (JM2)(Knee pads)
San Francisco, September 2008

Artflux Soho Gallery: Networking
New York City, October 2008

Fall Break (G&W (disappoint))
Fort Lauderdale, November 2008

MIX Film Festival
New York City, November 2008

Artflux Soho Gallery: Show
December 2008

Holiday Break (Windemar, reconnect w/ G&W)
Fort Lauderdale, December 2008 - January 2009

CA in NY & Spring Break
New York City > Fort Lauderdale, March 2009

"With You I Want To Live" Table #1
Fort Lauderdale, April 2009

Artflux Soho Gallery: Show
New York City, May 2009

Folsom Street Fair (JM3)(Harness bottom & boots)
San Francisco, September 2009

National Equality March
Washington DC, October 2009

Surfing On My Laurels

Fall Break (Windemar)
Fort Lauderdale, November 2009

Winter Break (G&W)
Fort Lauderdale, February 2010

Going Nowhere
Saint John USVI, March 2010

Citroën Rendez-vous (Z3)
Saratoga Springs, June 2010

House Boy
Fort Lauderdale, July August 2010

Folsom Street Fair (JM4)(Mohawk Naked (marker abortion))
San Francisco, September 2010

Work Trip with Play Between
Las Vegas > Orlando, October 2010

MIX Film Festival ("Reflection Projection")
New York City, November 2010

Going Back To Nowhere
Saint John USVI, January 2011

Citroën Rendez-vous (XJ6 w/A)
Saratoga Springs, June 2011

Funeral for a Friend
in absentia, July 2011

Southwest Road Trip
Palm Springs > Grand Canyon > Las Vegas, October 2011

MIX Film Festival ("Forbidden Cigarette")
New York City, November 2011

Winter Break (GN)
Fort Lauderdale, February 2012

Citroën Rendez-vous (Fuego w/A)
Saratoga Springs, June 2012

Chiaroscuro: The prideful with proud protegé
New York City, June 2012

Folsom Street Fair (Penis Mime)
San Francisco, September 2012

MIX Film Festival ("Point Of View")
New York City, November 2012

The Naughtiest One Of All - East Coast Road Trip
Ithaca > Fort Lauderdale > Ithaca, February 2013

Citroën Rendez-vous (Fuego, Z3, Phaeton)
Saratoga Springs, June 2013

MIX Film Festival (Lather rejection)
New York City, November 2013

Bone Island Weekend - Social Nudity in Key West
Fort Lauderdale > Key West > Fort Lauderdale, December 2013

Salty Boys - Sailing Naked in the Caribbean
St Lucia > St Vincent > St Lucia, January 2014

Birdsong Act II
Toaphland, Summer 2014

Citroën Rendez-vous (ID19, Fuego, Z3, Phaeton)
Saratoga Springs, June 2014

Folsom Street Fair (Burning Man)
San Francisco, September 2014

MIX Film Festival
New York City, November 2014

Lost & Found
Amsterdam, April 2015

Citroën Rendez-vous (Fuego, Z3)
Saratoga Springs, June 2015

MIX Film Festival
New York City, November 2015

Citroën Rendez-vous (ID)
Saratoga Springs, June 2016

Birdsong Reborn / Folsom Street Fair (Lokai)
San Jose / San Francisco, September 2016

Life in the Slow Lane

Couchsurfing Confusion
A super sketchy phone conversation, September 2017

Getting Pulled Over
At least the cop was cute, February 2020

Bloody Semen
Prostate Biopsy, May 2021

Detained at the Border
Crossing into Canada for a Grindr Hookup, January 2023

The Florida DMV
Doing battle with bureaucrats, February 2024

Old Scraps

My Poetry

My Likes and Dislikes - Superficial generalizations

My Bucket List

My Turn-ons, Turn-offs, Perfect Man

Ouch! - The Pros and Cons of Free-balling

Experimenting with Celibacy - Pardoxically an incredibly erotic experience

Creating My Own Email List

Is Homosexuality Immoral? - A Fraternity Discussion

Entering The Lion's Den - Traveling to NYC

Life Without Keys

Buying Shirts

Monday Rant

Frustrations of a Modern Consumer

Misc Commentaries - June 1999